Losing a close friend or family member is a subject which many people do not like to talk about. Maybe because it's very painful for them, or maybe because it's a subject which many feel should not be discussed - it's unlucky, or a forbidden subject.
Losing a loved one, especially a parent will usually not happen to us until we are older ourselves, unless we are very unlucky. It is impossible for anyone who hasn't known the death of someone close to understand. They will sympathize, but they cannot know how the pain and despair of the loss affects those left behind. For most of the shock of the loss does not set in straight away, it may take days, or weeks, or even months, but at some time it will hit us. The empty hole, the realization that the world is not the same, and it never will be again.
Many books have been written about coping with grief - however you try to cope there are certain things you have to realize. The first is that you cannot rush it or force it. It will take time - how much time will vary. The support and love of friends and other relatives can ease the pain, but the feelings of loss and emptiness never fully disappear, nor should they. During their lifetime they were a big part of your life - that will be with you for the rest of your days.
Positivity and general mental health can be directly linked to getting the right amount of quality sleep and starting the day in a positive way. In these time of lockdown and social distancing this can be difficult as we seek to navigate our way through life living by new and different rules and restrictions. Stress levels and negative emotions can rise to the top when we are unable to meet our friends and family or have a coffee in a cafe. Quality deep and long term sleep has been proven to assist general well-being and positivity.
What are the ways we can ensure a good nights sleep?
Firstly we should not eat in the two hours before we go to bed, and bed should be a quiet and relaxing experience - no tv, no phone, no distractions, except it may be relaxing to read a book for a while before settling down. Sometimes it can be difficult to clear our minds of the cares of the day, and this can keep us awake. At these times it's helpful to think of pleasant memories of friends and family, don't think of immediate problems, but past pleasures. After a while, and some practice, it is possible to clear your mind and drift off to a deeper and more relaxing sleep. Going to sleep early is also important - getting a full 7 or 8 hours of sleep every night will let you wake happy with more strength and determination.
Getting into pleasant repetitive actions to stay positive will also pay off.
Before you go to bed, make a list of the positive things that have happened during the day - it will help you to remember them when you are trying to sleep. When you do wake, make a list of the positive things you will do, and the things that make you happy - achievements, meetings, conversations - and list all the things you will accomplish during the day. These things will enable you to lead a calmer and more productive life. It will take a while to get used to, so don't try to do everything at once.
Good luck - let me know how you get on.
LET"S MAKE THE WORLD HAPPIER
It seems to me that over recent years the world has become greedier, less caring. More demanding, and less thoughtful. The rise of the internet, social media and other advertising is not a good thing - the advertisers are brainwashing us that we cannot be happy unless he have the latest phone, the best shoes, the most expensive car. Everywhere we turn Happiness is equated with Money.
It is an unhealthy way to think and can destroy relationships. Thankfully there is a growing trend to counter these negative influences by concentrating on Thoughtfulness and Kindness. Try to not think of getting what you want, or doing what you want, even if it upset or hurts other people. You will find your life will become a lot more fulfilled if you actively try to consider other people.
It is actually a very nice feeling when someone appreciates a kindness you do for them, even just holding a door open for someone, or letting them go before you in a queue, or perhaps giving up a seat on a bus or train for an older person can make you feel good. I've sometimes helped out someone who finds they have not got enough cash when they get to the till with a little cash. It is always greatly appreciated, and makes you feel very good for improving someones life. I make a habit of trying to do a kindness for someone at least once a day - it's and easy habit to get into. As I go about my daily life now I look around for ways in which I can help people. Kindness is contagious. If you are kind to people you will find they will treat you with respect and kindness also. A life of selflessness is a much better life to live than one of selfishness - kindness always pays off - and makes you a better person.
Photo by Larm Rmah on Unsplash
Happiness of the poor children. Taken in Chupah district, Gialai province Vietnam.
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Age... A sensitive subject.
If you are a lot older than your spouse it can be a sensitive subject - almost forbidden - but I think it's worth opening the box and discussing.
It affects so many people's lives and can be damaging to an otherwise great relationship. In the West it is unusual for there to be a great age gap between two people in a relationship. In less developed third world countries it is far more common and much more accepted - even among parties of the same race. Sometimes a relationship between a Pinay and a Westerner goes wrong and fails - but even if there is a large age gap this is rarely the reason for the failure of the relationships. In a marriage between a Westerner and a Philippina, the biggest difference will be their background, their upbringing, their financial circumstances - not their ages. If the two parties are genuine, understanding, and really want to make the relationship work - it will. After a short while the age gap - no matter how large - will not seem important. There are too many other things to consider in life to let the difference be a problem. Don't worry about the difference - and avoid people who criticise you because of it - They are probably jealous, or just have an unhappy relationship themselves and want to cause disturbance in others. Don't deny or ignore your big age gap - celebrate it - it can be a source of joy and new experiences. Age does not matter - sincerity does. Please share this and stay positive.
Comment your experiences below :)
During difficult periods, like the virus we are going through right now, may be a good time to think back and rekindle old friendships that we have lost over the years. The pace of life today, and the mobility we all have often means that we go for weeks, sometimes years without contacting people who once were important to us. Maybe we've just got too busy, or maybe we've moved to another city or even another country. Although this is a very difficult time, it does provide us with opportunities.
Firstly most of us have more time on our hands now. We can use this to think back and remember our friends who maybe we have lost touch with. We can give them a call, send them a message or an email. They will probably be very surprised but pleased to hear from us. Renewing old acquaintances can give us a link to other old friends who we can make contact with. These people were important to us once - they only need to be contacted and we can renew and extend our friendships. If this pandemic has shown us anything, it is that we should treasure those who mean something to us - make that phone call today. Please comment your opinion below
Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash
Let's remember our Overseas Filipinos. Hong Kong is my second home. Many of us in the Philippine community will have ties with Hong Kong. Either we will have relatives working there or maybe we are working there ourselves. It is sad to see disruption and chaos returning to the streets of a city that many of us now call home. Latest news HERE
Let's remember why they are there, why they choose to live in a city which is basically under siege from militant demonstrators and hard liners Mainland backed police forces alike. They are there so they can put food on their family's table, so their children can have a good education, so their father can get the medical treatment they so badly need.
They are truly heroes in these difficult times. Many of them put up with bad employers who disrespect them, who mistreat them, and who value them so little despite the care our sisters provide to their families. Without the support our sisters give to the Hong Kong community their economy would collapse, yet they are ignored and abused by some police when they make a complaint, and the Hong Kong laws are discriminatory and biased. Keep them in your hearts and your minds while you enjoy peace and freedom with your families.
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One of subscriber shared her story how she met her American Footballer husband and now she's happily married and lived in America.
Love is better the second time around and Staying Positive
I'm Madelen I will share my positivity in life. I came from Philippines and I’ m 40 years old. I am married to my awesome husband Peter Butcher. He is a American football player at Ventura Cardinals for 8 years then he works at post office until now for 39 years. About myself I’ m going to be 40 this end of the year. My love journey start when i know my hubby at this Facebook group page because i am an administrator of this group. It’s started say "HI" to my inbox and he sent me a friend request so i accepted it at May 1, 2014. Before my dream while working at Hongkong i save money then apply to cross country at Canada. Anyways i started talking to my hubby the day i accepted him as a friend we talk almost 6 hours that night. Then we continue everyday i called he called like 5× daily. I realized that i fall from him when few month passed by. I like him a lot i told him about my whole and he is there listening to me if im sad he can make me laugh and happy. Sometimes I cried he is always there no matter what. Then one day he ask me if I like him so i confess yes i like you and same thing he said me too and I’ m falling from you.
I am so happy year passed by he came to Hong Kong to visit me first i saw him in person at the airport coz i pick him up i am scared because i never see him in real only face time. He is tall dark and handsome, he is 6"2 and i am only 5'1. In short i tour him around Hong Kong. After 15 days he left me i feel so bad i cried at at airport. After a year he visited me again and proposed to me. I am so happy and blessed to have him in my life. The best blessing i got. The following year for the 3rd times he came back to Hong Kong again but before that he brought my mom a ticket to see him Hong Kong so mom flew to Iloilo to manila and manila to Hong Kong with my niece.
When my mom arrived at airport we pick them up. We have a great and happy moment for 21 days. My mother told me I CANNOT FIND A MAN THEY SAME LIKE HIM THAT HE RESPECTED ME ALOT. the way he cares for us is awesome. Before my mom left he ask my hand to my mom and mom say yes that time he was so happy.
I am so proud of my hubby he love me more than i know. That day he told me i want you to come with me in U.S so When Lynnie had her office in Hong Kong they’ve helped me to get her in America. After 5 years of waiting i am now a resident of America anyway we married here in California for a year now. I am so blessed and i lived a happy life now. And i thanks God for that and Positive ways site bringing people to be positive in every way and I am so happy to share my story here . :)
Stay safe everyone xx
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As my posts and website are all about positivity, I thought I would let you know how I deal with the people we come across in our daily lives who are less positive than I try to be. Some are even very miserable. Sometimes people can get miserable for a good reason and before assuming they are just a miserable person it is always good to check if there is some reason they are this way - maybe a death in the family, or a business failure.
Before deciding how to deal with them, see if they need some help in some way. Maybe they just need a few words of kindness. But then, we all know some people who are just naturally miserable - always seeing the worst in any situation, always worrying about the slightest thing.
The first and most important thing is to not let them make you miserable. Stay positive and try to show them the positive sides of their situation. Sympathise with them, but don't let yourself be dragged down to their level. You can only help them if you stay positive -don't join their 'pity party'. This way you may be able to help them become more positive.
If you have friends who are always negative and miserable, it's best not to spend too much time with them. Some people just cannot be changed. The skill is to be able to see who can be helped and who cannot.
Please share your story to inspired people to be positive in every way. :)
Coming to terms with the Virus. It is nearly six weeks now that we have had 'Lockdown' here in the UK. Read HERE
Coming to terms with the Virus. It is nearly six weeks now that we have had 'Lockdown' here in the UK. It didn't seem such a big thing when it started, but as the days wore on it began to feel like a prison, or like the aftermath of a nuclear bomb, with deserted streets and shuttered shops and restaurants.
In the US they seem to have taken the whole thing much more lightly with beach parties, and open shops. In some states it seemed to make little difference at all. I'm sure we've all wondered how essential all of this is. Although we are told we have to do this, there is a substantial body of opinion that is questioning the whole basis for the lockdown.
The truth is - neither you or I can question whether we need to do this, or how long we have to do it for. We can't question this for two reasons: 1 - unless you are an epidemic expert you can't possibly have an opinion that has any basis, and 2 - even if you are well-qualified, there are so many differing facts, statistics, projections, going around that even the experts all disagree. Okay, let me tell you MY opinion. Whether we like it or not, and whether we should be doing it or not, this plague has IMPROVED us. It has taught us the value of the wonderful NHS healthcare service that we have always had, and for me, when this is over I will never again take for granted a coffee and sandwich in a cafe or a trip to the zoo with my son.
My husband Arthur wrote a book and you can get it free.
Here is the link if you interested?
Grant Shapps revealed the news at Thursday's briefing - https://www.thesun.co.uk/
He said: “Face coverings will become mandatory on public transport.
WEAR A MASK (..OR ELSE!) Everyone MUST wear face masks on public transport from June 15 — or face fines
This week I want to talk about bravery. We are fed news items all the time of bad people doing bad things, nasty things happening to good people. Viruses attacking us and our loved ones. It would be easy to think the world was a bad, sad and evil place. It is true there is some evil in the world, but if we look for it we can find happy stories, positive events, and bravery, There is so much bravery all around if only we look for it. There is the bravery of millions of soldiers around the world who risk their lives everyday to protect us. There is the bravery of mothers who brave the pains and dangers of childbirth in order to have a family. Bravery shines through in many areas, especially today with having to deal with the virus and follow the rules that keep us safe. The bravery of medical staff, emergency services, and retail workers in helping us everyday, and putting their lives at risk by doing so is a wonderful example of bravery in action. Finally there is a bravery that is never discussed in the newspapers, on tv, or on the internet. It is the bravery of All of Us.. We are All brave in our own way. Whether it's by supporting a loved one who is sick, helping a neighbour in distress, working for a charity organisation, or working tirelessly to keep our families safe and happy. All of these things are acts of bravery, putting our own selfish best interests aside to help others. On balance there is much more bravery in the world than cowardice - We should ALL be proud of ourselves. The world is a better place with each and every one of us in it.
Please keep in touch - Lynniecrandon@gmail.com
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Today i would like to share the following uplifting quotes:
“Nothing in the world can take the place of perseverance.
Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent.
Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost legendary.
Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.
Perseverance and determination alone are the most successful conversation.” - Calvin Coolidge.
I Honestly believe perseverance and determination are what we need at this time in a tough year, We are just lucky I guess, because I am still writing this inspirational blog and you can read it right now, but some people are not so lucky, or some are in grief for their loved ones.
Well, here is my story. I live in province in the philippines, and we have a covered seating with the roof made from coconut leaves. We call it 'Bahay kubo' and we sleep in it on the bamboo floor.
Also, sometimes we cannot afford to buy a sack of rice because my father does poorly paid farm work, or works someone else's farm for a share of the crop, but, you know, we still happy just to have each other and our health. That's enough for us, We don't have television or radio, we can watch in our neighbor's house sometimes. That's heaven to us.
I'm sad that now, new inventions and technology means machines are doing jobs the farmers used to do. The poor farmers need those job to support their family, care for their health, and send their children to school.
My mother was an overseas worker when I was 9 yrs old, We are 5 siblings, I lived in together with my grandmother. Her kids are also working abroad and some are married so she lives alone. You know, my grandmother is amazing. I am so thankful to and I love her so much.
My mother worked with an Arab family and was accused of theft but found not guilty. She got put in prison. Her employer hit her as well. I remember seeing red marks on her face with the ring on it, but i'm proud of her she is such a wonder woman doing everything for her family to keep us happy.
Now tell me can you complain about your life right now? A lot more people have a harder time than us.We have a roof over our head, a beautiful family, food, water, - why do we complain? It won't be much longer now, and we're gonna get through this together.
Meditation also really helps too, just imagine you are in a peaceful and beautiful place. If necessary, think of something else nice, and remember that you are lucky, have positive thoughts, and in the end you will feel really nice and bright, or read a book. My husband Arthur wrote a book and you can get it free.
Here is the link if you interested 👇😀😀
Photo by Azka Nurakli on Unsplash
Even if you are married to a foreigner doesn't mean you are rich! I'm not complaining, but here are the facts, Yes, l'm lucky that l have a foreigner.
I'm living in another Country. My family, neighbours, at home think I'm rich. Did you know that living in other countries is not easy, the truth is living in Hong kong or other Countries we need to pay rent, bills every months, food, baby's milk, daily needs, kids school, medical bills. It is so expensive. Everything we need to buy. We cannot borrow rice to cook in our neighbourhood like we can in the Philippines. Our monthly salaries are just enough for our daily use, but we try to send money home for our family to support them because that's our nature... kindness. But often, if someone asks for money and we can't give they will be upset. hopefully you will understand this too. Some Filipina's are lucky, some are not. Some have rich husband/partner, but we don't know what their life is really like.
Some foreigners have the attitude that they wouldn't give food for their Filipina wife's family and needs. They have to eat what the foreigner gives them. Some of my friends tell me their husbands are mean(kuripot) and they are not the same as us. Being a filipina, we put family first support them the best we can, even if we don't have savings, we lend to them (utang). If they understood our lives in the Philippines then might they share; but they think more about the futures of their wife or kids. So sometimes I will save on my own from the grocery budget or allowance then I can send a little bit to our family. My husband understands and helps my family out all the time, but I learn from him to save so you are not hungry in the future, because no one will help you, Unfortunately that is true. This is just opinion. I'm not critising other filipinos or filipinas. Share this if you have friends, relatives that are married to a foreigner or you can share your story so people inspire from you or comment your opinion below , and stay positive..:)
How is everyone. As I promised, I will post a blog every wednesday, at least I will if I can remember the day! hehe. It's so difficult to be in this state at this time of year. It is worse than a war; we can't see our enemy! Let's be positive and help each other to move forward.
We should fight it together, support each other, help if we can, so we can defeat this pandemic worldwide virus. We all know that we're gonna win and the key is positiveness.
Here the the story of my husband Arthur. We met in Hong Kong April 10 2010, ten years now, in a train station well, not middle of the tracks and he's lucky he didn't pick me in a bar hehe. He saw me holding my big bag on the way to my new employer, and he ask me if he want to have a coffee, We didn't realize then that we are neighbors, so we are friends then, a month, then a year we loved, supported and we treasures each other.
It's not a perfect relation without the test of time; time will tell how strong we are. We are surrounded by bad and good people but is a choice to make. If we are lucky, people will be real and truthful. beware of people who will make a scapegoat of you to cover their own wrongs. My husband had a really difficult time before. He cried every night, he was depressed, stressed, and sad about what happened in his life, but i support him the best I can, show him how beautiful life can be, especially with the chance to live here. Acceptance is very important - is not easy but if you accept things that make you depressed or sad, you will feel better. Try to forget the bad things that happen and and carry on to move forward, I know it is really difficult but bit by bit you learn from it!
For me being a mother, wife and a bread a winner of the family, I'm lucky enough to support them, and I'm determined to make all my dreams come true. I'm looking forward to one day to helping more people and encouraging them to be positive in every way.
𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒃𝒖𝒚 𝐀𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐮𝐫 𝒂 𝑷𝑹𝑬-𝑳𝑨𝑼𝑵𝑪𝑯 𝒄𝒐𝒑𝒚 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑹𝑬𝑽𝑰𝑺𝑬𝑫 𝑫𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒍𝒚 𝑬𝒍𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 $𝟐.𝟗𝟗 - 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 - http://hyperurl.co/DEADLYELECTION - 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒊𝒕 𝒏𝒐𝒘! 😀😀😀
𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐎𝐖 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐎𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐎𝐑 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐒.
Take a break – its time for YOU! There can be no more stressful time than have a toddler – a ‘terrible’ two year old (he’s actually a good kid, but those of you with experience will know what I mean). Add into that a house move (from another continent), house renovations, and living in a new, cold country – with few friends or relatives. The word ‘stress’ doesn’t even begin to cover it. Nevertheless, we owe it to our family and ourselves to be positive. Especially for the kids as they will be the first to pick up on negative emotions. You know, despite all the bad experiences listed above, we still have so much to be grateful for. Coming from a poor country maybe I can see these benefits much better than others who were born in better circumstances. We actually have so much to be grateful for. We have a comfortable place to live, we have enough food, and we live in a safe country. When we are down, and life seems too diffcult, we should all remember these things. And reach out to your friends too – share your troubles. Other WILL support you and help you. Write to me here, share your feelings and experience. Remember that a stranger is just a friend you have not met yet.
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I want to share..Being a new mum is an exhausting experience. You have no time of your own, you can't work, so money is tight, you are constantly tired and feel unwell. Your husband will support you as much as you need. But still lot of things to worry about. It is easy to feel down, negative and very unhappy. But, now is the time you have to find your inner strength, your secret super power to drive yourself forward.
Things will get better, and you have to stay positive. Being strong and positive is not about all the bad things that happen to you, it's about how you react to them, how you cope with them. Try to not let your dificulties ruin your life. Be positive, concentrate on your beautiful child and loving family. Things will get better, and you can make them better sooner if you have a positive attitude.
I loved to see and touch snow but I prefer warm weather though, lots of us do I think! In my province in Philippines it is so hot, Just two types of weather Rain and hot and sometimes 38 degrees Celsius I can almost fry a egg in my forehead.
My mother arrived during winter last December. She was amazed how cold it is. She doesn’t want to live in the United kingdom haha, This is how to frighten my mother. But she loved the people here even though she has limited English. At least people are very friendly here, Cameron is two years old. I love it. He wants to stay all day outside if he can, I didn’t expect the will snow that day so I used the old plastic box and put hole in the side so I can grab him and he loved it, he doesn’t mind at all. Having a 2 year old toddler ‘ the terrible twos' they say is so much fun, you know what I mean.
Amazing. I have lived in a cold Country (United Kingdom) in more than 8 months now, so far so good. With my Amazing husband Arthur – he enjoyed his writing and working for his Master of Creative Writing degree right now and getting ready to launch in his third book called a “ FINAL vengeance” He already published his first novel about Philippines conspiracy “ Deadly Election Here is the link : https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B01BODZHUO/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i1 hope you are interested, I support him whatever what he want to do, so he can enjoy life while he can. I love him for his kindness. He is a humble man and good father I believe that he is a brilliant author too!
I’m very busy doing my stuff making candles and printing personalized mugs, please check out my website: www.positiveways4u.com
Here are the photos I took in Winter time' Now we are on Spring season.
I'd love you to share your story her about how positive you are Please, please keep in touch - Lynniecrandon@gmail.com
Here is my pink flowery pillar candle during snow. What do you think? Made a natural soya wax too so its safe to our planet. :)
I'm sad today to hear the news about Kobe Bryant and his daughter Giana, they both passed away in a Helicopter crash. I'm a big fan of him, I've known him since I'm young, I am so sorry for the wife and family and the pain they must be in. We should also not forget that seven other people died in the crash - my heart goes out to their families as well. I don't have experience yet of a close family death, and I don't want to, But sometimes the world is can be a hurtful and sad place. They say you have to expect the unexpected - I mean we never know what will happen next. One moment were laughing and maybe later we're gone.
It's not fair? Is it?... There is so much happening this month of January 2020, did you notice? Taal volcano in the Philippines has erupted, so sad really lots of people started to build their homes there, and i'ts gone in seconds right.
In Australia a big fire - a staggering 1 billions animals are now estimated dead in the Australian fire, the number of Kangaroos, Koalas and others killed keeps skyrocketting, is this the sign of global warming?
In Hong Kong the protests against the Government continues. The protesters have laid out five key demands, namely the withdrawal of the bill, investigation alleged police brutality and misconduct, the release of arrested protesters, the resignation of Carrie Lam, and free elections. Everyday it gets worse. many people are affected. like Filipinos and Indonesian helpers and other foreign workers with more than a million working in Hong kong - They just work for the future of their family. It is very worrying. My sister works in Kuwait and the government of the Philippines has warned them to go back in the Philippines. What is she gonna do? She is working abroad to give a good future to her children- Even with the difficulty of being far in her family, - Even me I miss my little one sometimes if he is in nursery for 6 hours. I admire her for being brave and having the confidence to put her family first. Everyday I'm always frightened. What if something happens to my family, what if .. what if...
Hot news CORONA VIRUS - 2000 people got infected recently in China, Philippines, Japan, America and now in France? Oh god is this real? I just think to myself while I'm cuddling my little one within a month all this has happened, The world can be cruel, but it is still exciting everyday., and there is much good being done and improvements happening - try to look for the good news amongst all the doom and gloom. How to prevent getting infection from Corona virus: Wash your hands often with soap and water for at least 20 seconds.and avoid touching your eyes, nose, or mouth with unwashed hands. Avoid close contact with people who are sick. This is all I can think of right now. Pray for anyone who is bereaved or hurting and help them if you can. - Be thankful what you have now, spend time with your family, be humble and respect others opinion. Thank you for reading.
Lynnie is a long way from her home country, The Philippines, Her journey has take her through Brunei and Hong Kong. She is now settled in the North East of England (it's very cold). In between looking after her husband Arthur and her gorgeous two year old son, Cameron, she is building www.positiveways4u.com with the aim of brightening lives and offering the very best quality and value online. You can check out her site - she has written and posted uplifting items which she hopes will amuse you and lift your spirit. feel free to join n the fun and contribute. Click HERE